Are you Scottish?
Are you aged between 12 and 21?
Are you cheap and tasty?
Then you could be the drink I’m looking for.
Major high street smalls retailer, World of Underpants, in Skiddington requires a Bottle of Scotch for Brian’s 50 th on Friday, 17 th June to avoid the boredom of spending my own time with people I don’t actually like but can’t refuse in case I get problems at work.
It’s not the most attractive role but it has its own rewards like spending a lot of time around my mouth.
The ideal candidate will be made of liquid alcohol in a light-brown shade and very strong. You need to be able to hide in my coat pocket and be ready at a moment’s notice to slide your neck onto my tongue.
Starting at 7.30pm expect to the job to be finished, at best, by 11pm. At worse, expect to get smashed (literally) when you fall out of my greasy, drunk hands at around 11.01pm.
For more details please contact Peter Hardlance.
There is no more important thing to a man than his genital well-being. Skiddington-based High Street retailer, World of Underpants, does exactly what it says on the sign. Their extensive
warehouse of over 3,000,000 square feet is a cornucopia of testicle garmentry boasting over 50,000 pairs of underpants ranging from vintage Y-fronts and Gentlemens’ corsets to barely there thongs and mankinis. They even have a small section of willy-warmers but keep that quiet.