Are you dead but do you still walk the earth?
Have you been unemployed since your unfortunate demise?
Did you die in the East Minge area?
If so, you could be the spirit for us. My colleague at First Right Concepts is having her 40th at the end of the month and as an extremely irritating, some would say pathological, practical joker I want to play the ultimate prank.
I need a real ghost, and not a twat in a sheet (although one will be provided).
The ideal candidate will be a disembodied conscious energy— what we might call the personality—of a once living person, as opposed to spirit guides, angels and other supernatural entities within the world of linear time and space.
He, she or it must also be able to manipulate matter, be observed, and have some capacity to communicate with the living in an unexpected and frightening manner, i.e. be scary.
The candidate must also be unnaturally confined to the physical realm either via a free-will decision to stay behind or an unwillingness to completely move on to the next level of existence thus “trapped” or choosing to reside in a “twilight” state between the spiritual and physical realms.
Also, you must not be afraid of or allergic to dogs or cats as you may have to wrangle with them from time to time. Ideally you’ll have had a full range of flu shots too before you passed away.
Copier and Fax Experience is also useful but not essential.
For more details please contact Dick Fitzwell (not my real name).
East Minge’s First Right Concepts has the grey pound at the heart of it’s unique business style. Why should old people’s opinions be ignored just because the don’t know how to use WhatsApp, Skype and Facebook? They didn’t fight a war for the country to go the dogs (kids and foreigners!) That’s where First Right comes in, getting old people up to speed on gadgets and getting a massive cut of their hard-earned savings for the effort.