The simple tricks that can wake you up at work!

Can this simple tricks make YOU even better at your job? 

  • Experts reveal the 15-minute routine to refocus your brain and end that 2pm -5 pm
    sluggish feeling
  • Do you hit a 2pm-5pm slump and find it hard to get back on track?
  • Experts in Spain (or somewhere) have devised a simple ‘win-win-win routine’ they claim
    could perk you up no end – or one end.
  • It involves a number of alternatives instead actual work to help focus the mind  

We all get it. That dreaded afternoon slump at work can often leave you feeling uninterested, demotivated and wishing you had been good at sport, acting or singing.

A recent survey by Accolade Recruitment revealed that nearly 106% (or just over 2 in 4) often find themselves in this position.*

simple tricks - Sleeping at the desk

But what if there was quick and simple routine could perk you up, increase your energy and reduce your stress levels in less than the time it takes to eat your lunchtime kebab?

Experts at the HMHG (Health Mind Healthy Genitals) Centre in Magaluf, Spain have now devised a step-by-step sequence designed to slot into even the busiest of days called DROSS (daydreaming, rubbing, other stuff and smoking).

Created by registered yoga specialist –barmaid, Chochi Sucio-Conio, and mind guru- fortune teller, Lucy Drawers, the sequence combines basic disciplines to combat stress exacerbated by the
pressures of the modern office.


Sexy Secretary

Step one involves sighing and waiting for an attractive colleague to walk past and looking at their arse.

Top scientists have proven that staring longingly at a colleague’s arse and wishing that one day, you’d be able to see it in the nude and possibly touch it, lick it and stick something in it can help lift even the most sluggish moods.

(Just stick to a general rule of staring for no more than 45 seconds, or if you’re spotted, 30 seconds.)


simple tricks - Toilet

Step two involves tackling physical tension with a few simple stretches and pulls.

You begin by finding an empty toilet cubicle and locking yourself in. Now start turning your chin to your left shoulder before inhaling then exhaling to draw your chin down past the chest to the other shoulder. Inhale and repeat this side to side three times.

Next, exhale through your mouth and release the shoulders before undoing your trousers (or skirt) and rubbing the underside of your crotch. Repeat this thirty-three times, starting slowly and
speeding up vigorously as you go through the count.

Experts say the routine is designed to be speedy, effective and easy to do in any toilet, any time – fitting perfectly within a busy schedule to alleviate pressure and boost overall wellbeing.

(Due to the nature of rubbing there could be a small chance of some fluid mess so make sure that the loo is well stocked with a reliable brand of paper.)


simple tricks - Other Stuff

The third step involves calming the mind and banishing stress, according to the Magaluf experts. It involves taking a pen and paper, absorbing your surroundings and drawing inspiration from what’s around you.

Now, take some time to doodle, encouraging your creative juices to flow advise the experts. Genitals, pictures of booze, cats and dogs are all perfectly acceptable doodles.

Planning a massive drinking session also scored highly with an amazing 200% (or almost everyone twice) saying that this was a key source of contentment.

Or even just going online and reading the nonsensical articles in the Daily Mail can also engender and feeling of joy and superiority.


simple tricks - Smoking in the office

Then just have a sneaky fag. That should finish off the session nicely.

*Over 7 people who lived in the UK at some point since WW2 were casually WhatsApped by Accolade